What is resilience? Today my guest Taryn Abrahams helped me see that resilience isn’t just about pushing through and surviving. She helped me see that it’s about mental toughness and mindset.
Resilience is definitely a long game strategy!
Resiliency defined: Developing the skill to be able to notice your own thoughts, unhook them from non-constructive thinking and rebalance quickly. It’s not about never having a bad day or being perfect. Resilient people move beyond the trials of today and see things from a larger perspective.
The best part?
This is something we can all get better at doing for ourselves!
How to know if you’re resilient:
How do you feel?
Are you aware of what you can (truly) control and what you can’t control?
How often do you recognized what you are thinking and saying to yourself?
How to improve your resiliency:
Know your triggers. There’s value in knowing. Taryn explains how knowing may be enough and if not, what you can do when something (or someone) triggers you.
Take stock of how you process information. Understanding your thinking patterns will help you understand how you respond to stress. Taryn gives a great example to demonstrate how this works.
Notice your thoughts. We’re not trained to do this. In fact, many of us feel like we can’t control what we think and what we feel. Most of the time (up to 90%!) of our thinking is unconscious. We’re often operating on autopilot. Taryn shares an easy to do example of becoming more conscious.
Whose voice is that? Is it really yours? Many of us are telling ourselves a story from years past that isn’t even our own!
Let go. Resilient people forgive, move on and let go of thoughts that no longer serve them or things that were never theirs.
Challenge your thoughts. When you change how you look at things, the things you look at change. This is an effective part of reframing. Get Taryn’s 3 questions (based on science) you can use to challenge thoughts that aren’t working for you.
Replace negative thoughts with positive thoughts. Taryn explains an easy process you can use to find a way to make the swap.
Ask for help. Yes, really. We aren’t meant to do everything on our own. If you are the go-to person others may not know how to help. Speak up.
When you understand yourself, you can choose how you want to feel, how you want to respond, and focus on what matters to you. Resilience is something we can learn. Listening to this episode is a great way to get started.
Links from Today’s Episode:
Empower Behavioral Services